Good News, Bad News

An old man visits his doctor and, after a thorough examination, the doctor tells him, "I have good news and bad news. What would you like to hear first?"

The patient answers, "Well, give me the bad news first."

"You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left," the doctor says.

"That's terrible! In two years, my life will be over!" the patient cried. "What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this?"

The doctor says, "You also have Alzheimer's. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you."

Paying the Bill

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"

"Only one kiss per yard, " replied the smirking male clerk.

"That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards."

With expectation and anticipation written all over his face,the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, thenheld it out teasingly.The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her.

"Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled.

Acronyms and What They Mean

PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

ISDN It Still Does Nothing

SCSI System Can't See It

DOS Defunct Operating System

BASIC Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

IBM I Blame Microsoft

DEC Do Expect Cuts

CD-ROM Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months

OS/2 Obsolete Soon, Too.

WWW World Wide Wait

MACINTOSH Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs